The Pain of Rejection. Bondage or Freedom. Part 2

Welcome All Friends & Visitors,

“Often, out of our greatest rejection comes our greatest direction.”  ~Joel Osteen

The pain of rejection can inhibit your natural responses to any number of situations in your life. But with self-reflection you can learn a way out and free yourself from feelings and behaviors that hold you back when you yearn to move forward. You can be free to be who you are, but it’s important to understand 3 elements of your rejection. And hopefully, you’ve been researching these questions.
1. How were you rejected?
2. How did it make you feel?
3. How has it been reflected in your life?

And now another question you may not have thought of. Many people, when they feel the pain of rejection, make a vow to regain a sense of power and protect themselves from being hurt in the same way. Vows seem like protection, but they can ultimately lead to loss instead of gain. Example: A child gives a recitation in school, and is rejected by classmates. So he vows to never speak in public again. This vow protects him from pain in the future, but inhibits his natural ability to speak up for himself in other important situations.

“Ships in harbor are safe, but that’s not what ships are built for.”   ~John Shedd 

When I was 6 years old, I cried, heartbroken, when my father died, but my mother didn’t comfort me. I felt alone, unimportant, and rejected. To ease my pain, I made a vow to never need anyone again, never expect help, and take care of myself. Looking back, I understand my mother was a widow with 3 children to support in the Great Depression years and didn’t realize my need. But I created an image of being independent, not needing help. So over the years no one offered help. And I learned its lonely being alone inside. How would my life have been different if I had reached out to others without fear of rejection?

If you made a vow when you were hurt, ask in what situations it held you back from being your whole self? Once you have all your answers, it’s time to make a choice. You either live with that put-down voice inside, or you choose to free yourself from fear when particular situations come up. Wouldn’t it be great to just be yourself all the time?

In the past you chose to accept the rejection, and you ran with it–the criticism, the pain, the knots in your stomach, all the negative stuff that went with it. And you projected it into your life. Well, now you have the true power to reject the rejection. And you can run with that.

‘If you hear a voice within you say, “you cannot paint”, then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.’   ~Vincent Van Gogh

1. Intentions are powerful. Write yours out in first person. Examples: I am now gaining all the courage I need, I am now releasing all pain and fear of this rejection situation, I am releasing any fear of change, etc. Choose your own words. And feel them.

2. Self-talk is powerful. When you feel emotional pain, be the adult and speak comforting words to your inner child. Every day explain you’re making changes to release his/her pain and fear. And give yourself hugs with a smile.

3. Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) is an effective exercise to release what you don’t want and increase what you do want in your life. Maybe you’ve heard of it. It involves tapping on various meridian points on your body to create positive changes. It’s too much to fully explain in this article, but check out information and videos on the internet. It’s easy to learn and it works. With EFT I released the pain of my father’s passing.

4. When you hear that voice inside saying, “you can’t“, stomp your feet and say, “I can.” Then move out, be yourself, and do your thing. If you get criticism or rejection, remind yourself that you’re here for a purpose only you can fulfill, and you’re so important that if you disappeared, there would be a shift in the universe. Smile and know that’s true. No matter what, you shine.

I wish you freedom to be wonderful you.

Author, Marilyn Fowler

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