“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.” ~Washington Irving
Was there ever a time when the tears on your face reflected your breaking heart, and someone said to you, “Stop blubbering, and get a life?” That’s the attitude some people have about crying. A sign of weakness? No. Crying is a sign of being human. And all you wanted…needed…was for someone to understand without judgment or criticism.
“Tearless grief bleeds inwardly.” ~Christian Nevell Bovee
Or suppose you force a weak smile and choke on your tears so no one will know you’re dying inside, and someone might say, “What’s ‘wrong’ with you? Can’t you at least be sociable?” They don’t know. How could they. It’s your secret.
We encourage tears of joy. Seeing someone’s happy tears brings happiness in us. But what are you supposed to do when you lose someone you love or something important to you like a job, income, your home, a friend, your health, etc, and you experience emotional suffering? Tears well up inside for a purpose. They’re your gift for healing. And there should be no shame in allowing them to pour out. They may not change a situation, and some broken hearts may never heal completely, but tears can cleanse the soul and bring you peace. They reduce stress and supply the strength you need to go on and do what you can to remedy a situation when possible.
Don’t discount the wonder of your tears. They can be healing waters and a stream of joy. Sometimes they are the best words the heart can speak. ~The Shack/William P. Young
At some time in our life we all experience painful situations when we either release the pain with tears or stuff it down and work to keep a lid on it, maybe crying only when we’re alone. And those times can be accompanied with guilt, embarrassment, self-criticism, shame, etc. After all, aren’t we all supposed to be strong and brave…like tears are wrong? No, tears are a necessary part of living and, sometimes, a way to finally smile again.
How to find your smile:
I don’t discourage crying. In fact I believe in planned ‘pity-parties’. There’s nothing wrong with feeling sorry for yourself sometimes. Plan 30 minutes to one hour when you can be alone and cry into piles of tissues, talk to yourself, say things like, ‘it hurts sooo bad’, ‘I feel broken in pieces’…on and on…however you feel. Let your tears flow freely and release your pain.
Then when the time is up and you’re thoroughly exhausted, lay on the floor on your back, arms and legs out to the side, and breathe. Feel your freedom to just breathe. Now thank your body for letting go, and allow a smile to linger on your beautiful face. Then when you’re ready, go directly to an activity you had in reserve before you started. Maybe mop the kitchen floor to some jazzy music. Whether you feel like it or not.
Pity-parties can help as long as you plan them, and turn them off when the time is up. And they don’t need to be planned far ahead. I’ve used this method many times in the past, and sometimes when feelings got too heavy, I did my pity-party right then. And each one relieved some of my suffering.
“In our worst of times, we must look for something to shed light on the darkness.” ~Author Unknown
One time in desperation I went to my Minister, and she asked if there was anything in my home that I thought was beautiful. I said, “Nothing is beautiful to me now.” And she said, “Then go find things you used to think were beautiful, and put those in your home.” So I brought new plants, flowers, pictures, incense, and music into my home. And I felt some light return where there had been none.
So cry your tears when you hurt. Then rediscover the light in your life, and let your light shine. You always had your light. You just couldn’t see it through your tears.
Now this from jonathan lockwood huie. May your spirit soar throughout the vast cathedral of your being. May your mind whirl joyful cartwheels of creativity. May your heart sing sweet lullabies of timelessness.
I wish you healing strength beneath your tears.
Marilyn Fowler, Author/Writer