Hello and Welcome Friends & Readers,
“I can’t believe I did that. I must really be stupid.” Does that sound familiar? Have you ever said that to yourself? I have…many times. But then I have to question if that’s true. If it is, then we live in a world of stupid people, because everyone has those moments. So I wonder what’s going on with us. Maybe there’s more than one reason for doing those things that appear stupid.
Most of our episodes are harmless, like the times I wonder if my brain is on vacation, and my blunders are easily remedied. I don’t like to cook, so usually every other day I cook enough food for 2 days. Then I get days off from cooking. Well, one time I couldn’t find my second meal in the fridge, and after much searching found it in the cupboard behind the paper towels. I had no memory of putting it there. Another time I found myself driving in circles around a cemetery trying to find my way out. I finally got myself home, but it took a while to shake the stupid feeling.
“It’s not that I’m stupid. I just don’t think sometimes.” ~ Colin Farrell
When those harmless episodes happen, we tend to label ourselves stupid, because it doesn’t seem like a person with good sense would do such things. But there are reasons why we goof up. First we live in a multi-tasking world with cluttered minds that wander out of focus. So it’s easy to get pulled away without knowing it until we end up in a stupid feeling situation. Our mind is on overload, and it sends us off in weird directions.
Most of the time, our goof ups don’t cause serious problems. But some of our blunders can have more serious consequences involving health, finances, relationships, or any major decisions. One winter when my heat pump broke down, I let a fast-talking salesman talk me into purchasing a very large heat pump for my very little house. And I’m still paying for it. How stupid is that? And my disastrous wedding night was also one of those stupid decisions. That one is detailed in my book, Silent Echoes. Sometimes we can’t go back and undo something, so we live with our so-called stupidity.
When those more serious situations occur, a cluttered mind may be part of the problem, but a second reason may be at work. Oftentimes the culprit is failure to research a situation before making the decisions. In some cases, missing the research can bring lasting, deeper felt results.
It’s not true when we judge ourselves or others as being stupid. We’re actually judging the action. And there’s a difference in being and doing. We just do dumb things and end up appearing stupid. During my years working in the Mental Health field, I saw thousands of patients that some would call stupid, but not one of them deserved that label. They each had their own unique light that shined in its own way. And I sometimes marveled at the wonderment I saw in them. Each of us has our own reality, and what makes sense to one may not make sense to another. So who knows what is stupid.
In our busy world it’s easy to feel overwhelmed with a cluttered mind. So of course, we make dumb mistakes and feel stupid. But never label yourself in any negative way. When necessary, keep multi-tasks in mind, but work on staying focused, and bring out each one as needed in the moment. Stay in the moment, and don’t allow your mind to wander. With practice, you can learn to shift from one thought to another in seconds and remain focused. Remember to do your research before any important decisions. Then act with knowledge and confidence.
When you do dumb things, it’s okay to say, “I did a stupid thing.” It was the action–not your Self. Those mistakes don’t mean you’ve lost your marbles. Be kind to you, and give yourself some slack. Your brain is fine, and so are you. And so am I.
I wish you many stupid-free days.
Marilyn Fowler, Writer & Author of “Silent Echoes”