“No one can ever know you until the mask is removed.”
Some children learn to rise above childhood hurts and maintain an authentic self. But some create a false image to insure a particular response from others, and so protect themselves from being hurt. And this image becomes who they are to themselves and to the people in their life. Sometimes this can work, but too often this false image does not produce the desired results.
Last week I gave several examples where the mask backfired, and desired results were not realized. The People Pleaser mask resulted in being used by others instead of being loved. The Do Gooder’s efforts were appreciated, but without personal approval. And the wall built by the Independent Self-Sufficient image brought loneliness.
Be the person you intended to be before you intended to be the person you are not. It’s time to seek authenticity in ourselves and remove all masks. ~Daniele Maylyn
In some ways a mask may make life a little easier, but sooner or later something deep inside signals a kind of unrest. You may know something’s missing underneath, but not realize you’re living your life behind a mask. For most of my life I didn’t know I wore my Independent Self-Sufficient mask. I thought that was me. Then I felt a nudging telling me to look inside for what was missing. And I’m still finding myself.
“Everything you’re looking for lies behind the mask you wear.” ~Stephen C. Paul
If you’ve been wearing a mask as you, then where is that authentic self that got lost in the pain behind your mask a long time ago? Do you ever feel unrest inside and long to reclaim your true self? Would you like to be You again? Would you like to greet each day knowing You are living your life … overcoming your own challenges and creating your life as you want it?
It’s not easy to release an image you’re portrayed for so many years and embrace a new you … the real you. As you find new ways of expression, you’ll find resistance from people in your life. They’ll have to learn different ways to respond to you. And people don’t want to change. You may even be afraid for people to see the real you, although you were born lovable, special, and beautiful. And you still are. For a while it might be scary as you learn to live without your protective shield. But …
“Fear is the brains way of saying that there is something important for you to overcome.” ~Rachel Huber
Over time, recapturing your authentic self is a process that must unfold. And the first step is the intention to release your false image and allow your authentic self to emerge and express in your life. Voice this intention every day as you work on being less mask and more you.
Discover what situations in your childhood brought pain and fear that could have created your protective shield in the first place. Was it feeling unloved, not appreciated, misunderstood, being ridiculed, feeling unworthy, invalidated, guilty, etc? Mine was finding no one there when I needed comfort during a painful time. So vowing to not ever need anyone again protected me from pain in the future when no one was there for me. I became quite independent, but also lonely.
“Have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become.” ~ Steve Jobs
Look at your feelings and behavior patterns for clues. And confront your masks false beliefs about you. You are not your mask. We have an innate desire to be our authentic self to find and fulfill our purpose and meaning in life. And this desire cannot be denied forever by any false image we’ve created. In spite of our facade, we want to grow and express more of what makes us unique and special, and be free to feel our true emotions and make sincere choices. Go within and listen, not to the lies about you that try to take hold in your mind, but to the truth you find in your heart. And be that person.
I wish you happy freedom to be wonderful You.
Marilyn Fowler, Author/Writer