“Everything we say or do in life is a choice.” ~ Unknown
Push a button, turn on a thought, talk, get dressed, drive somewhere, thousands of actions every day. We’re creatures of habit, and most of the time we’re unaware that each action is a choice, and each choice has a consequence. Of course, we need to form habits to function on a daily basis. But each decision we make creates a result, positive or negative. And it pays to understand the bigger picture so our major choices can benefit us as well.
“For every choice we make we set a cycle of energy and consequence into motion.” ~Caroline Myss, PhD
We take everyday habits for granted. But you choose. And those daily activities probably meet your needs. But what about major decisions about work, finances, relationships, health, home. etc…those choices that are difficult to undo or change? And what about situations that just happen through no fault of yours? A few years ago, I experienced a serious car wreck. I didn’t choose the accident, but I chose the route that got me there. So where does it all come from?
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life, and you will call it fate.” ~ C. G. Jung
We learn during our whole lifetime, but for the most part, childhood is where we learn how to live our life making choices. We make them in our own individual way, with a number of factors that influence our methods. And these influences prepare us well or lead us to a series of misguided decisions with negative, even painful, results. As children, the demands on us can create a sense of confidence or mistrust in our judgment.
Situations such as poverty, health issues, disruptive environments, and negative messages can hamper our ability to make sound choices. Trying to live up to roles assigned by our parents can engender security or insecurity. Even where you are in the birth line can make a difference. Nothing is written in stone, but the oldest are usually more independent and self-reliant; the middle may feel shadowed by the others; the youngest more dependent and welcome support.
“Life is all about choices. Good or Bad; Right or Wrong; Your destiny will unfold according to the choices you make.” ~ Unknown
How many people do you know who look back in regret wishing they’d chosen differently in their work, relationships, health, etc? I can’t count the times I’ve done that. I had to experience 2 years of therapy to learn that my fear, insecurity, poor self-image, loneliness, and so forth had altered my ability to choose wisely. And that’s when I turned the page with wiser choices and happier consequences.
There’s no guarantee that all your choices will be the right ones. But you can learn to create better outcomes most of the time. There’s a saying, “Look at your life, and you’ll see what you have created.” So first look at your life and own responsibility for having created it. Then look at each present situation in your life, and think back in time to what choice you made in the past that created that situation, positive or negative. Some choices may appear to have been some mistakes. But re-examine and see if anything good ultimately resulted from them. You may be surprised.
Now consider what there is within you that may influence your choices, positive or negative. Is it doubting your ability, poor self-image, fear of failure, what will people think, etc? What determines the choices you make? Just being in too much of a hurry could be a problem. With awareness and understanding, you can sometimes correct situations in your life with new choices. And those you can’t change, you can choose ways to better cope.
The next time you have to make a major choice like buying a product, finding a doctor, a new friend, a job, a relationship, or a major life change, analyze what you’re thinking, and get in touch with your gut feeling. Don’t expect a perfect answer, but trust yourself, and vanish any fears. Check your options, get a second opinion, gather needed information, talk it over with someone you trust. All of this information will empower you to move forward in confidence.
You’ve done your homework, and in the future, it will pay off. Maybe not perfect, but you can experience more of the life you long for deep inside. And when you learn, you can teach someone else.
I wish you clear vision and happy results.