The Road To Freedom After Divorce …

As we go through life, we’re joined by others on our journey. Some stay with us, while others, sometimes through divorce, may leave or remain in a different capacity. But each one is there for a purpose. I’ve heard it said we come together for a blessing, but sometimes that blessing comes from learning a painful lesson. Divorce and the major life change can bring that blessing as one grows through it.

Maybe you’re dealing with divorce or know someone who is. Or divorce is somewhere in your past. If so, you know how it turns life upside down and makes you question what was real or what was just a dream you thought was real. It makes you question yourself and who you thought you were. And you don’t know the answers. You just know it hurts, and you’re not sure of your next step when it’s over.

“You must let suffering speak, if you want to hear the truth.” ~ Cornel West.

Mine was one of confusion. I wanted the divorce, but felt no joy when I received it. I’d like to share an excerpt from my book, Silent Echoes, about my reaction when I received my divorce papers. “One afternoon I was getting ready for work and watching for the mailman to bring my final divorce decree, ready to celebrate my freedom and put the past behind me. The divorce papers came, but afforded no comfort. I walked down the hall toward my bedroom and read the return address, Clerk of the Circuit Court. A strange feeling gnawed at my stomach. Where was the joy? My hands shook as I removed the legal papers and read words I didn’t understand, but knowing it said the marriage was over. I felt my body slide to the floor, suddenly consumed with sadness and confusion. My tired back rested against the wall. I mourned what I’d imagined as a child but never found with my husband. What happened? Why had it been such a mess? How could we have failed so miserably? I put my head on my knees and watched my tears sink down into the dark green carpet.”

Time brought survival, but I still had much to learn, working through one turbulent experience after another in pursuit of freedom to express my true self. We all move at our own pace on our journey, and each experience is like peeling an onion, one layer at a time toward freedom.
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“You can do the impossible, because you have been through the unimaginable.” ~ Christina Rasmussen

If you are experiencing a divorce:  Internal and external issues create a need for inner and outer recovery work. And you may feel like you’ve been socked in the belly and can’t get up. So right now make a determined intention, commitment, to recovery. And write down your recovery statement.

Then find someone who can help you through all that’s yours to do–someone who can help you restore your strength and confidence with understanding, validation, and compassion. Without guilt or judgment, own up to anything you could have done different in the marriage, but know that failed marriage is not who you are. You are still the special person as you were created. Look within for anything you need to release–anger, confusion, guilt, shame, sadness, fear, etc. And let them go. Wayne Dyer offers good advice. “Initiate a habit of choosing thoughts and ideas that support feeling good and powerful, and that elevate you to a higher level of consciousness.”

Work on putting new things in your life that inspire you. My niece became a Radiology Tech, and is now very happy working in a children’s hospital. She says that without her divorce, she would not have realized this blessing in her life. Be patient with yourself, and keep your eye on the future. That’s where your blessings appear.

If you know someone in divorce:  Be there and help them with the above strategies for transition to freedom, healing, and positive change. And you will receive a blessing too.

I wish you freedom to be who you are.

Marilyn Fowler, Author

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How To Bring Abundance Into Your Life

Many of us go through life everyday thinking we must live with whatever life deals out to us. But you don’t need to be content with the status quo. Life can be abundant with love, harmony, health, good relationships, rewarding work, financial security, whatever goodness your heart desires. But it takes daily time, attention and work.

There is only abundance. The only scarcity we have is based upon holding onto certain modes and models.   ~James Arthur Ray

The answer to abundance is within each of us waiting to be tapped into when we know where to look. The Universe functions on energy vibrations, and whatever we manifest depends upon those vibrations, negative or positive. We block our good with low vibration negative thinking. But if we raise our level to a new positive energy vibration with positive thinking, the Universe will answer in kind. Our abundance is already there. We just need to tune into the right vibration and claim it.

Our life journey is usually a mix of positive and negative experiences–rarely all good or bad at one time. But sometimes we’re so absorbed with a difficult issue, we forget about a positive issue that exists at the same time. Recently, I was feeling alone and depressed with a health problem, and I couldn’t see anything but the pain. Then I had a birthday, and so many birthday wishes flooded in I was re-awakened to the abundance of love in my life. Sometimes we need reminders when our mind is focused on lack.

It takes practice to develop a new ongoing mindset so abundance can become a positive ‘yes‘ attitude–not a sometime thought or desire…not maybe someday…but now.

1. Intention: Intention is a powerful tool that puts productive energy in motion. Write a letter to the Universe asking for what you want, and declare your intent to have it. And hold this thought of intention.
2. Inner blocks: Search within for any messages or beliefs that may block your abundance. ie You’re not worthy, you will never have what you want, you will always be poor, you don’t have what it takes, etc. Every time you have such a thought, confront it with an affirmation such as this one by Louise Hay, “I deserve the best, and I accept it now. All my needs and desires are met before I even ask.” You might even write affirmations on file cards to read through the day.
3. Move to the heart: A desire begins in the mind, but it must move to the heart to manifest. So feel your desire and intention in your heart. Make it your heart’s desire, and feel as if you already have it.
4. Focus and Allow: Keep your focus on what you want and envision it in your life. Don’t get caught up in where, when or how it will manifest. You don’t need to know this. Tune in to a state of allowing it to happen instead of forcing it into manifestation. And let the Universe do it.

Expect your every need to be met. Expect the answer to every problem. Expect abundance on every level.   ~Eileen Caddy

5. Expect: Expect your good, and record each instance with gratitude when something you want comes into your life, even in a small way. The energy in acknowledgment and gratitude encourages more abundance to come.

There will be challenges and difficult times, but by raising your energy vibration level something good can come out of each experience, and more good will come into your life. If a sense of lack creeps in, immediately change your focus from lack to plenty and note other areas where there is positive abundance.

Do what you know, and stay with your intention to keep your energy positive. If you slip back, it’s okay. Stay vigilant, start over and keep going. Love your life, and love your efforts to make it better. You deserve an abundant life!

I wish you the blessing of abundance on your journey.. .. ..

Marilyn Fowler, Author and Writer

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I’m a retired Licensed Clinical Social Worker/Psychotherapist. However, retirement is not for me, so I stay busy. I belong to a writer’s group and am active in my church. E-mail me at: NonnieFW@aol.com

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Wonderment In Action

Hello Friends and Welcome Visitors,

Everyday you have a gift. A new 24 hours to create your own experience. You have all the tools you need to color your day with wonderment. Your gift includes sight, sound, taste, smell, and touch. What will you create? You run. You hurry to get there. Don’t be late. A job to do. Bills to pay. Food to prepare. Errands to run. Tend to this. Tend to that. Then night comes. Your day has ended. You’ve spent your gift. Did you create time for wonderment?

“The real voyage of discovery consists of not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes” ~   Marcel Proust

Yesterday was a holiday. I took my cup of coffee out on my back patio. I spied a bird in the oak tree. He whistled. Then I whistled. Then he whistled. And I whistled. He said it was a beautiful day with the sun coming up. I told him I was happy to share the morning with him. That’s wonderment.

I looked up to the sky billowing with white clouds between the sun’s rays. An old man with a white beard sat atop the fluffy mass, and a sparkling flower bloomed. That’s wonderment.

I went to the grocery store and ran my cart up and down the aisles. I picked up an apple. A bright red color. I rubbed its smooth skin. I put it to my nose and inhaled its sweet aroma. I saw a woman looking for a greeting card. She didn’t need the walker she had last week. The clerk smiled when I called her by name. That’s wonderment.

I went to a birthday party for my niece and me. I’d wrapped her gift in lavender paper. She wrapped mine the same. We laughed at our coincidence? I savored the coconut cake that melted in my mouth and the almonds that crunched between my teeth. That’s wonderment.

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I heard some talk of politics and problems to be solved. But I heard joy in laughter and felt love in all the hugs. A soft blanket covered the living room floor where my niece’s grandbaby explored her array of toys. My brother played the piano, and she waved her arms to the music. That’s wonderment.

As my eyes took in her world, a poem went through my mind. I watched her playing all alone. Such a little sweetheart, 8 months old.

A little beauty to behold.

Her eyes alive with new delight.

Pure wonderment on her happy face.

Outstretched arms in sweet embrace.

My heart longed to be where she was then.

Oh, if we could but keep those moments in life.

And return to that sweet paradise.

“Wonder is music heard in the heart, is voiceless”.   Rosemary Dobson

 

What do you find at the end of your day? Are you tired? Does your body ache? Is joy in your heart, or just glad it’s over? You have the power to create your music on your self-help road to freedom. The day is your gift, and you experience what you choose to create.

Do what you need to do, but open your eyes to the wonderment that’s there if you choose to see it. You are beautiful. Make each day as beautiful as you are. Look in the mirror and see the wonderment of you. What a blessing you are. That’s wonderment.
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May your life be filled with Wonder …

 

Much Happiness & Blessings All,
*Marilyn*
http://www.amazon.com/Silent-Echoes-Marilyn-Fowler/dp/1432749498

 

 

 

 

 

“Is It Really A Coincidence”?

Hello Friends and Welcome New Friends,

Coincidence, if traced far enough back, becomes inevitable. Hineu

Sometimes I wonder if everything I call a coincidence really is a coincidence. When something out of the ordinary happens and that twinge of amazement is felt inside, some will say, “Oh, it’s just a coincidence”, while with others, these events stir the mind for explanations.

Those amazing events can be gigantic or just small ones we could overlook. The woman I found to edit my book, Silent Echoes, discovered her biological family, lost through adoption, living in the pages of the book she had been hired to edit. Was it just a coincidence she was the person I happened to find for my book? Another time, I needed some groceries, but I was broke. I started to go to my brother’s house to borrow some money, and I found a twenty-dollar bill in the pocket of a coat I hadn’t worn since last year. Coincidence? And what about the former Navy Seal, the only person near by when a woman’s car went over an embankment into a lake, and he was able to get her out of her car. Coincidence? I don’t think so.
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The concept of randomness and coincidence will be obsolete when people can finally define a formulation of patterned interaction between all things within the universe. Toba Beta, Betelgeuse Incident …
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Everything in the universe is energy, and everything, including us, is connected by energy. So through the action of energy, what happens today influences what will happen tomorrow. But going further, maybe different forces move the energy in different ways, depending upon the situation and the nature of the moving force. Some would say its Divine Intervention. Others would say you just happened to be in a certain place at a certain time. Others would blame it on the law of averages. And how much is the result of our own actions?

Many people are content to just accept these events as they come. But others who began asking why when they were children still persist in wanting to know more. Maybe the more we know about the cause and how things work, the better we can manipulate the effect for a better outcome in many of those not so happy coincidental events.There’s much we don’t know about how our universe works, but we do know that our innermost desires are a powerful force that creates energy, and energy creates events in our world. We don’t always know how something we do today may affect someone else’s life tomorrow. And that person may call it a coincidence.
So maybe a good place to start contributing to a happier more peaceful world is within ourselves.

I wish you happy coincidences.

Much Happiness & Blessings,
Marilyn Fowler, Author
http://www.amazon.com/Silent-Echoes-Marilyn-Fowler/dp/1432749498

 

 

 

Hello. Welcome to my New Blog Home, The Self-Help Road To Freedom.

Hello and Welcome New Friends,

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       We’re all on a very important journey, our life journey. And as we travel this journey, we take many roads, some positive and some negative. With this blog, we can travel together on our positive self-help road and find ways to overcome the painful physical, mental, and/or emotional challenges that invade our life, and learn to replace them with the love, peace, validation, and freedom we long for on our journey.
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On a self-help road you take a look at your life everyday. You keep what serves you and learn to release what doesn’t serve you. That takes some inner and outer work. And you’re the only one who can do it. That’s why it’s called self-help. It’s up to you. But you don’t have to do it alone. There’s more help on your journey than you may now realize.

Inner work involves introspection, looking inside at your thoughts and feelings, sorting out what’s in there. You decide what you want to release, what you want to keep, or what you want to create within yourself. Then you use techniques to accomplish positive change. This can be a cleansing experience, and you just might discover how really wonderful you are.

Outer work is finding tools outside yourself to help promote positive change. Sometimes you’ll get “aha” moments from something you see or hear. These could be advice from a trusted friend, a book that reveals enlightenment, talking with someone who’s been there, a new doctor who can help you, etc. Or you might receive comfort from simply sharing your pain with someone who truly hears you and cares.

If you’re a person who follows a spiritual life, that can be your greatest asset. But sometimes pain reduces motivation to practice the very spiritual activities you want to maintain. That’s where love and understanding from others helps keep you on your path. And that’s where a self-help attitude helps you stay in touch with that spiritual essence that shines within you. God speaks, and self-help encourages you to listen.

This road is bumpy at times, and sometimes difficult. But a happy journey is worth it. And like I said, you don’t have do it alone. On this blog, I’ll be writing once each week on all sorts of topics, problems, and challenges. Some of these will come from my own experience, thoughts and feelings, but many will be from your comments, your feedback, your concerns.  So keep those coming.  Let’s travel our self-help road together and help each other.
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So remember me, as I’m here for you, to help you through those rough & bumpy patch’s in life.
I wish you a most productive and blessed self-help road to Life Freedom …

Much happiness & Blessings, Marilyn
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Silent Echoes

My current book titled; Silent Echoes
Come Connect With Me on Facebook http://www.facebook.com/AuthorMarilynFowler
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