Happy Mother’s Day ~ Mom’s, as You Move Through Your Life Journey, How Are You Creating Each Stage Along Your Path?

It’s a long journey through life, and as we move through various stages we may not realize that each stage is a gift with its challenges, opportunities, lessons, and yes, blessings. Generally, we just move along and don’t much notice until something happens to jolt us into a realization that time passes fast and change takes place. And sometimes we don’t welcome the change.

Our culture is a youth-oriented world. As people age, we want to put them out to pasture, get them out of the way. Just try to find a pair of jeans that come in above your hips or a style you’d wear past the age of 50. And too many lonely people are in nursing homes. We all know nostalgia, and sometimes we want to go back. Ah, how I remember when my children were small. I rocked my babies, rode on the sled with them, got a gash in my son’s head sutured when he fell off his bike, ordered art lessons for my other son, and made my daughter’s prom dress–among thousands of other memories, some wonderful, and some not so wonderful.

“Learn to trust the journey, even when you do not understand it.” Unknown

You know what I mean. You have your memories too. Did you realize time was passing when you lived those years? I didn’t. I just took it all for granted–except the traumatic experiences. I just wanted out of those. Then one day I looked around and realized I had gone through several more life stages. I had aged, and I wondered where it all went…those precious memories, my clear skin, my flat tummy and my firm rear end. Wow. It must have happened when I wasn’t looking.

“The journey between what you once were and who you are now becoming is where the dance of life takes place.”  ~Barbara DeAngelis

I wanted to keep the happy times. Then I remembered the mistakes, and oh, how I wanted to go back and do those over. I thought about what I might have learned from them, and I was surprised at how much I had learned. But what about now? Was I learning now or drifting? I wasn’t sure. It kind of felt like drifting, so I made a commitment to be aware of my life in each stage, and face each day with trust in God and myself, with intention and hope for a more meaningful life. When I falter and need reminders, I’m sure they will present themselves.


So much is said about living in the present, but I think we don’t realize the full meaning of the word ‘living’, to live, to learn, to savor, to share, to be aware of self and others, and to know where we are on our journey and what we want to do with it. We have the power to create the quality of our life in spite of challenges. Did you know that? And you’re probably a lot smarter than you used to be, so you’re more able to create a better future.

“Don’t be pushed by your problems. Be led by your dreams.”  ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Think about where you are now, and where you want to go. Hang on to those precious moments from the past, and let go of your mistakes. You did the best you could according to your growing ability at the time. Every stage in life is equally important with opportunities to learn and grow in new ways. You are not what you have or do. You are the beautiful being inside who is on a glorious journey to self-realization, and you can’t find that if you overlook your purpose or fret about where you need to go.

Life may not offer the same experiences it did in past stages, but don’t miss the great ones that are there for you now. There is a Divine purpose in all of it, and you are part of that Divine plan for yourself and humanity. Hang on and enjoy the ride.

I wish you much happiness in each stage of your journey.

Marilyn Fowler, Author of  “Silent Echoes”  and  “Me and Granmama in the Hill Country” 

Heal Your Total Self by Healing Your Inner Child…

Many, if not most people today are familiar with Eric Berne’s psychological theory regarding the parent, child and adult ego states, different parts of ourselves from which we function. The parent expresses our value systems, morals, and beliefs, and may be critical or nurturing. The child is our feeling self. And the adult uses rational thinking and problem-solving and tries to keep the parent and child in balance. If we become familiar with these parts of ourselves, we can work with them and create a healthier, happier life.

“We’ve all had traumas and painful experiences as children. But you don’t have to be adversely affected by the past when you start healing the child within.”    ~Unknown

Since the child is our feeling self, when you feel sad, hurt, angry, scared, frustrated, any painful feelings, that’s your child crying for help. And your child needs attention. We’re all human, and we will have those feelings sometimes. They’re part of life, and we can’t totally shut down all negativity. But you can be aware of your feelings, know where they’re coming from, and turn to your inner child with love and compassion. You can learn to diminish the negative and increase the positive feelings. And your inner child, and thus you can learn to be happier.

“It is necessary to own and honor the child you were in order to love the person you are.” ~ Robert Burney

As you become more familiar and relate more with your inner child, you’ll know right away how to work out any painful feelings. And you and the child part of you will feel more like the one person you are. But it’s also important to recognize your parent self, the self that can be critical or nurturing, and your adult self with its rational thinking and problem-solving skills. Then when your parent self-gets critical, you can call on your adult self to handle the situation and free your inner child from more hurt.

“She held herself until the sobs of the child inside subsided entirely. I love you, she told herself. It will all be okay.”  ~Raven Rose

Seems like you go in and out of different characters, doesn’t it? Well, all 3 of them are you, and whether you know it or not, you’ve been using all of them all of the time…crying with pain, criticizing yourself, and your adult self-intervening.

Example Scenario: Suppose someone said something unkind to you, and you were hurt and cried (That’s your child self). Then a voice in your head said, “Oh, can’t take it, huh? Stop that blubbering (That’s your parent self). Then you dried your tears and told yourself, “Never mind. You’re loved and you do matter (That’s your adult self-soothing your inner child feelings). We use all parts of our self automatically.

Now there’s another side to all of this. While you’re healing the hurts and drying the tears, your inner child would really like to have some funl. You know, the things you used to do before you got so busy. So let her/him out sometimes. Sing with the birds, make funny faces and laugh at yourself, walk in the rain, dance around the house, eat an ice cream cone and let it melt down your belly. The list is endless. The more you laugh, the less pain you will feel. And it will be so much easier being you.

“There is a child inside all of us who continues to believe that it can always get better. That it doesn’t end here.”  ~Vienna Pharaon

When your child self is happy, you look up instead of down. It raises your sights to who you really are…God’s beautiful creation who only wants good in your life. You have the strength to successfully meet life’s challenges. You have the wisdom to make wise choices and create peace instead of pain. You have the courage to bring what’s good for you into your life and rule out what’s not. You live each day with faith and hope. And you learn to love your wonderful self. You heal your inner child, you heal yourself. And life can be so good.

I wish you fun being you.

Marilyn Fowler, Author of  ““Silent Echoes” and writer for “Keys To Recovery” …

Your Remarkable Body And What It Means To You.

Wishing All My Friends and New Visitor’s A Happy and Blessed Easter Weekend!


If you’re like most people, every day you drive your car to a destination. And you handle gas, oil, water, tune-ups, and repairs when needed. Maybe you take a bus or train, but you always have transportation during your life journey. So you probably use many vehicles over your lifetime. But do you ever think about the only vehicle that transports you throughout that journey without any trade-ins? Think about it. It’s more valuable than any car you’ll ever drive. Yes, it’s your remarkable body that gets you through your lifetime in spite of all the challenges you may encounter.

“I stand in awe of my body.”   ~Henry David Thoreau

Our body is an absolute miracle to be cared for and used wisely. But we move through each busy day with little thought of its welfare and the many ways in which it serves us. We don’t see it as the vehicle that houses all parts of our total self-working together as one beautiful entity. We’re usually not aware of our body until aches and pains crop up, but each precious part of us needs daily attention if we’re to fulfill all we’re meant to be. As a car needs gas, oil, and water to function, our body needs food, water, air, sleep, and lots of TLC.

Do you ever think about the food you take in every day and how it actually nourishes you? We consume protein, carbohydrate, fat, vitamins, minerals, and plant-based molecules that serve as antioxidants, anti-inflammatories, and anti-cancer agents. We routinely consume food every day without a thought of its value. Do you ever look at a glass of water and wonder why it’s so important? Water regulates body temperature, lubricates joints, flushes out waste products, carries nutrients and oxygen to cells, makes minerals and other nutrients accessible to the body, protects body organs and tissues, and moistens tissues such as mouth, eyes, and nose. All that in a glass of water? Remarkable.

We don’t think about breathing unless something happens and we’re short of breath. And we realize the value of air. Each breath carries oxygen to our cells and powers every process in our body. Then carbon dioxide is released with pollutants and foreign organisms. Sounds simple, but life depends on it. Refresh and Release. Wonderful. But did you know that air also contributes to sound which we need to make words?

Thinking about our body, we can’t forget about our brain. That’s what keeps us on the right path on our journey. Our brain is equipped with several levels of brainwaves, ranging from very alert to deep sleep. And they’re constantly in motion depending on what we’re doing. Theta Healing says, “Everything you do or say is regulated by the frequency of brain waves.” During times of deep relaxation, Theta brain waves activate the body’s natural self-healing processes. What about that….your body can heal itself.

I used to think my body shut down when I slept, but according to the National Sleep Foundation, during sleep, our bodies restore and rejuvenate, grow muscle, repair tissue, synthesize hormones, and solidify and consolidate memories. And after sleep, we retain information and perform better in memory tasks. I better check on that one. I don’t feel that smart in the morning.

“Most people have no idea how good their body is designed to feel.”  ~Kevin Trudeau

Much is constantly happening in your body, but you carry more than flesh and bones. You’re given a mind to understand and reason, to choose, to create, and relate to others; your heart keeps faith and hope, it loves and forgives, and brings smiles instead of tears when life knocks you down; spirit comforts and reminds you of who you are; and your soul is who you are. The years take their toll, but inside is the spark….the light….the eternal motor that keeps you going while all the finite parts serve you on your journey.

Your body has needs only you can supply. So listen to your body for direction. It’s the barometer that knows what you need no matter what your mind may be thinking. And you’ll hear it speak if you pay attention. Love and care for this magnificent gift, and allow it to take care of you. You are blessed.

What I’ve presented in this article doesn’t even touch the magnitude of this remarkable creation. And you may disagree with some of my thoughts. But I continue learning. And I invite you to learn too.

I wish you health and happiness in your discoveries.

Marilyn Fowler, Author of  ““Silent Echoes” and writer for “Keys To Recovery” …

How Do You Respond When Unexpected Life Challenges Knock You To Your Knees?

Life itself is a series of problem-solving. That’s what we do. We move through each day on various levels of energy, sometimes easy going and sometimes difficult. Everything affects everything else. So with experience, we learn what to expect and how to handle what we encounter. And we do pretty well in that environment. But what about those unexpected situations that suddenly arise without warning. Sometimes they seem to come out of nowhere and may be the result of our own actions. Most of the time they’re fixable situations, but some can put your life in turmoil.

“It’s the unexpected that changes our lives.”   Unknown

Some unexpected situations may seem fairly minor but can skyrocket your stress level….like when you’re ready for work and discover your car has a flat time or you forget to register your kid for summer camp; etc. Those situations can force you in a direction you didn’t know was coming.

On a more serious side, you suddenly lose your job; or a major health issue invades your life and robs you of your independence. A few years ago after a hurricane had passed, a gigantic tree limb crashed to the ground in my back yard. I was grateful it spared my house, but the thundering sound was deafening, and I was frozen to the shaking floor. Removing that tree limb became a major challenge.

Another time through no fault of mine, I was suddenly in a serious car wreck. I spent 2 months in residential treatment, and went from a wheelchair to a walker and then a cane. Recovery was long and hard, and I didn’t drive for a year. Serious yet, if you suddenly lose a loved one, this kind of unexpected trauma requires some inner healing and time with others close to you for understanding and comfort. And the loss may always be there.

“Life is not the way it’s supposed to be. It’s the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.”   ~Virginia Satir

We all respond in different ways to the unexpected. Sometimes the first response is to get hung up on ‘What ifs’. What if I’m late for work; what if my kid thinks I forgot because I don’t care; What if I can’t find another job; what if I never get well; what if there’s another limb ready to fall; what if I’ll never walk again; what if I can’t recover. Or you might dive right in with an immediate action. If there’s danger like a fire, you’d probably swallow your panic and get help right away.

“What gets measured, gets managed.”   ~Peter Drucker

Unless you’re facing an emergency, your first concern should be what you’re feeling inside. Panic, even the initial stress, can cloud your mind, and you could miss your best options for a solution. Just a few moments within can make a big difference in your outcome. If you can, let the problem be, and identify what’s going on inside. What are you feeling….panic, fear, trauma, anger, regret, sadness, grief? What is it, and how severe? Notice your breathing. Any racing thoughts? Now take some deep breaths, and allow your body and mind to let go as much as possible. And give up the ‘what ifs’ and ‘ain’t it awful’….

When you’re a little calmer, just step back and gauge the size of the mountain. Ask, “How big is it really? What can I do about it? What happens if I can’t fix it? Where can I find help if I need it? etc.” Meet each day knowing you have what it takes to handle whatever comes up. And those puddles may not be as deep as they seem.

“Difficult roads often lead to beautiful destinations.”   ~Unknown 

If an unexpected situation is a result of your own mistake, never condemn yourself. Adding a problem to the one you already have does nothing beneficial. So don’t do it. Instead, say some affirmations. “I am strong enough to lick this tiger and smart enough to find a clear road ahead.”  Sometimes an unexpected difficulty now is the very thing that may lead you to that clear road ahead. Look for it with clear vision.

I wish you Peace in your Heart along the way.

Marilyn Fowler, Author/Writer

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Ways To Make Wise Choices And Avoid Consequences You Don’t Want…

“Everything we say or do in life is a choice.”  ~ Unknown

Push a button, turn on a thought, talk, get dressed, drive somewhere, thousands of actions every day. We’re creatures of habit, and most of the time we’re unaware that each action is a choice, and each choice has a consequence. Of course, we need to form habits to function on a daily basis. But each decision we make creates a result, positive or negative. And it pays to understand the bigger picture so our major choices can benefit us as well.

“For every choice we make we set a cycle of energy and consequence into motion.”   ~Caroline Myss, PhD

We take everyday habits for granted. But you choose. And those daily activities probably meet your needs. But what about major decisions about work, finances, relationships, health, home. etc…those choices that are difficult to undo or change? And what about situations that just happen through no fault of yours? A few years ago, I experienced a serious car wreck. I didn’t choose the accident, but I chose the route that got me there. So where does it all come from?

“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life, and you will call it fate.”  ~ C. G. Jung

We learn during our whole lifetime, but for the most part, childhood is where we learn how to live our life making choices. We make them in our own individual way, with a number of factors that influence our methods. And these influences prepare us well or lead us to a series of misguided decisions with negative, even painful, results. As children, the demands on us can create a sense of confidence or mistrust in our judgment.

Situations such as poverty, health issues, disruptive environments, and negative messages can hamper our ability to make sound choices. Trying to live up to roles assigned by our parents can engender security or insecurity. Even where you are in the birth line can make a difference. Nothing is written in stone, but the oldest are usually more independent and self-reliant; the middle may feel shadowed by the others; the youngest more dependent and welcome support.

“Life is all about choices. Good or Bad; Right or Wrong; Your destiny will unfold according to the choices you make.”  ~ Unknown

How many people do you know who look back in regret wishing they’d chosen differently in their work, relationships, health, etc? I can’t count the times I’ve done that. I had to experience 2 years of therapy to learn that my fear, insecurity, poor self-image, loneliness, and so forth had altered my ability to choose wisely. And that’s when I turned the page with wiser choices and happier consequences.

There’s no guarantee that all your choices will be the right ones. But you can learn to create better outcomes most of the time. There’s a saying, “Look at your life, and you’ll see what you have created.” So first look at your life and own responsibility for having created it. Then look at each present situation in your life, and think back in time to what choice you made in the past that created that situation, positive or negative. Some choices may appear to have been some mistakes. But re-examine and see if anything good ultimately resulted from them. You may be surprised.

Now consider what there is within you that may influence your choices, positive or negative. Is it doubting your ability, poor self-image, fear of failure, what will people think, etc? What determines the choices you make? Just being in too much of a hurry could be a problem. With awareness and understanding, you can sometimes correct situations in your life with new choices. And those you can’t change, you can choose ways to better cope.

The next time you have to make a major choice like buying a product, finding a doctor, a new friend, a job, a relationship, or a major life change, analyze what you’re thinking, and get in touch with your gut feeling. Don’t expect a perfect answer, but trust yourself, and vanish any fears. Check your options, get a second opinion, gather needed information, talk it over with someone you trust. All of this information will empower you to move forward in confidence.

You’ve done your homework, and in the future, it will pay off. Maybe not perfect, but you can experience more of the life you long for deep inside. And when you learn, you can teach someone else.

I wish you clear vision and happy results.

Marilyn Fowler, Author/Writer of  “SILENT ECHOES”  and
“ME and GRANMAMA IN THE HILL COUNTRY”  both now on Amazon…

Choose Laughter.

Hello, everyone.

I have to apologize for not having an article ready for this week. But I remembered a time a saw a precious little girl enjoying an absolutely wonderful laugh…and I thought about the value of laughter not only in fun times but especially when you’re down and need lifting up. So today I’m offering a poem about those down times.

Marilyn

If you’re laughing, you’re healing.”   ~Gangaji


It’s not easy to laugh when you’re hurting with physical illness, mental anguish, emotional pain or a spiritual need. It all hurts, and you may feel nothing can help. But that’s when laughter is important to help your inner child laugh again. There have been times when my own faith had to be rekindled and, for me, my poetry helps. I wrote the following poem during one of those times.

I find that when I hurt inside,
I can make a joke and find a laugh.
It comes from yet a different place,
Along my weary path.
Laughter drives away the tears,
And calms the hurt below.
It frees my soul to feel alive
Where I think angels go.

God knew I’d need this useful tool
To lift me high above the dark,
So I can see the truth of life,
And find that vital spark.

Thank you, Lord, for quips and giggles,
For making light of strife and pain,
For finding fun in spite of trial
To find my joyful way again.

I wish you laughter to wash away the tears. Be happy, dear one.

Marilyn Fowler, Author of  “SILENT ECHOES”  and  “Me and Granmama In The Hill Country”
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Is Your Goal Setting Journey Successful…And If Not, Why?

It’s hard for our minds to stay in the present, and we tend to want a better future. So we set goals. We’re taught this principle with slogans like, “Going for the goal; success is measured by reaching goals; without goals, attempts at success are futile; etc.” Although there are many skeptics about setting goals, we’re a goal setting nation from individuals to large organizations.

According to the World Book Encyclopedia, a “goal is a thing for which an effort is made” or a “thing wanted.” Things you want generally fall into 3 categorieshaving, doing, or being something. Examples: I want to have a patio behind my house, or I want to learn French, or I want to be 10 pounds lighter. Each one suggests a goal. But we’re all different and reaching the goal may or may not involve a specific plan to get there. Some people need prodding, and others don’t. Some of us would not get out of bed each morning without goals for the day, and some of us cringe at having to function with pre-set goals.

“No one knows how far his strengths go until he has tried them.”  ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Goals may be small achievements or life changing, but they all offer an opportunity to learn and grow. And goal setting probably produces rewards more often than not. But it can also go the other way. When successful, it provides a sense of motivation and purpose, with focus, passion, direction, improved self-esteem, and something to look forward to. But for some people, setting goals can be limiting, and may do more harm than good. It can create a sense of ‘I should’, self-doubt, pressure to succeed and fear of failure, too much living in the future and neglecting the present, and feeling unworthy and depressed if they do fail to reach their goals.

“Determine What you want and Why you want it. Once you understand what’s important, you can utilize your Passions and achieve anything.”  ~Brooke Griffin

One size doesn’t fit all, so it’s wise to choose an approach in which you feel comfortable; detailed planning, tentative planning, available doors as you move along, or any method that feels right for you. Whatever your method, get a clear vision of what you want to achieve, why you want it, and how much you’re willing to go through to get it. Then begin creating your process to get there.

I set goals for myself, but I’m not one to map out a way to get there. In my forties, I wanted to work in the Mental Health Field, but had no money for necessary education. I had no idea how I could accomplish such a goal, but I had to do it. So I quit my job, moved to another city, stayed with friends, got another job, and enrolled in school on a loan and later a stipend. While in school, I reached out to some wonderful people for help, I volunteered at seminars for free admission and volunteered at a Mental Health Center to gain experience. And eventually, I had the degrees and training I needed for many happy years doing work I loved. Nothing planned…just opened one door at a time, and reached my initial goal.

“Be stubborn about your goals, and flexible about your methods.”   ~Unknown

If you have a goal and choose to plan ahead, go easy on yourself, and keep your demands reasonable. And to minimize stress, set realistic, flexible standards within your capabilities. Include whatever you will need in each step toward your goal, and list resources for help along the way. Allow for any unforeseen situations that may occur, and be ready to alter your course if needed. Keeping your eye on the goal will keep you motivated. And monitoring the process as you move through it will furnish valuable insight if in the end, you need a second attempt. Don’t give up!

“We can’t become what we need to be by remaining where we are.”  ~Oprah

Do you want to make a change in your life, but scared to take a step forward? Well, choose your goal, and ask someone you trust to stand by you through the change process so you don’t feel alone in a threatening world. Be understanding and patient with yourself. And if you fall back, don’t criticize. You’re stronger than you think, and you can make it. And it could make a difference in your life. Move forward into freedom.

I wish you much sunshine on your journey…

Marilyn Fowler,  Author/Writer of  SILENT ECHOES  ~  Visit Me On Amazon

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