Part Two – Are You Living Images And Roles You Were Given As A Child? Where Is Your True Self?

Your essence is within you. You are already enough.”  ~Debbie Spellman

For the most part, each day we automatically live our life without thinking past our usual activities. But we’re complex beings, and our role, image, and personality are so ingrained from childhood, we don’t usually question our identity. Personality becomes our ‘I am’ and, for many, that satisfies a need to know. But it doesn’t even touch the great dimensions of all that you are. Self-knowledge is one of our greatest tools to discover and uncover our true self and use this self for good. The more you know about yourself, the better you’re able to choose what to keep and what to release to promote what you want your life to be.

We express from personality and from our true self, and the two are quite different. Personality is changeable and can have different opinions about itself. One day you’re a very bright person, and the next day you’re pretty stupid. Or decisions you make via personality can backfire and reveal parts of you that you’d rather not have. But there’s nothing wrong with expressing from personality. You can learn a lot about yourself from this source of expression.

People apply different meanings to the true self, such as authentic, true nature, deeper or higher self, the core of your being, soul, etc. But it is considered the real you, as you were created. And the essence of you cannot be something different. You are you, and you will always be you.

Somewhere tucked away inside each of us is a memory, memory of the self that existed during childhood before we fully assumed a role, an image, a personality. And part of us longs to recapture that time of innocence when we knew our true self well. With purposeful steps toward change, we can dim some of the personality’s hold on us, and know more of our true self.

“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.”  ~E. E. Cummings

Intentions are one of our most powerful tools for change. And when it stems from the good in your heart, it will bring good into your life. Use intention with desire, willingness, commitment, and faith to change. Reinforce these qualities each day, and with your deep feelings to move forward, your courage will be there. No need to hurry. Change comes gradually over time.

Once you establish your decision for change, you need to begin listening. How often do you listen to how your personality thinks and notice what it does? What do you feel is positive and negative about it? What does it tell you about yourself, and do you agree with it? We’re taught to believe that personality is who we are. But do you ever sense that you’re more than this belief? Pay attention, and learn to recognize this part of you.

“Intuition is the voice of the soul. The more you listen, the more you know your true self.”   ~James Van Praagh

Clarify your meaning of true self, who and what you are within, and listen to it speak to you. Our true self-speaks to us often, but with our busy minds, we miss a lot of its messages. It’s uplifting, and will always guide us with love and wisdom. But we have to hear it. Seek ways to communicate with and express your true self. Play like a child, show kindness to others, claim your own worth.

The goal of this change is not to erase personality, but to release the traits you don’t want, and allow it to compliment your true self as the two can work together for your good. As days pass and you increase your knowledge and understanding, you’ll learn to tell if something is coming from personality or your true self. And you will gradually learn to decrease more of personality and increase more of your true self.

This is a vast subject, and mounds of material have been written in detail about who you are, and how to discover and nurture more of you. You’re on a journey of self-discovery. Read, research, express gratitude, and be your beautiful self.

I wish you joy as you blossom into more of who you really are.

Marilyn Fowler, Writer/Author of   “Silent Echoes” and Me and Granmama in the Hill Country Available Amazon online…

An image posted by the author.

Advertisements

I Appreciate My Follow Friends! Now, What To Do With Regrets From Your Past That Live In The Present?

100 Follows!
Congratulations on getting 100 total followers on The Self-Help Road To Freedom!

“A very special THANK YOU to all my followers, friends, and all visitors who made this new milestone HAPPEN.”  🙂   Author, Marilyn Fowler  🙂
________________________________________________

.

Do you ever think of your past and find ‘what ifs’ running around in your mind? What if I hadn’t done that, what if I’d done something different? Mistakes and Regrets. And you spend your whole life agonizing about how different life would be had you made wiser choices in the past. Everyone goes through it, but you don’t have to live with it.

“One day, perhaps, you will see for yourself that regrets are as nothing. The value lies in how they are answered.”  ~Steven Erikson, House of Chains

What kinds of feelings come up when you think of your mistakes…anger about what you did or failed to do, sadness at how things turned out, guilt, stupidity, disappointment in yourself or feeling others disappointment in you? We can be pretty hard on ourselves for being imperfect. I’ve never known a perfect person. But I have known some pretty great imperfect people. So you don’t need to keep beating yourself over the head and getting into ‘what ifs’ because you stumbled in the past.

Getting stuck in regret, self-criticism or blame can rob you of confidence and clear vision and then sabotage what you may want to create now. You can harbor your regrets, and stumble through life, but every decision you made was based upon your knowledge at the time. And maybe the path you took was necessary to move you to create something better. Louise Hay says, “Every experience I have is perfect for my growth.”

When I worked in the jail with a Mental Health Team, I counseled homeless inmates incarcerated for trespassing, stealing food, yelling at police officers, etc, some with mental illness and some without a mental disorder. And many came from dysfunctional homes with physical and/or mental abuse. I heard a lot of ‘what ifs’ from them with poor self-images and memories of one mistake after another. They saw few worthwhile qualities in themselves and no hope for a positive future. But as I worked with them I found many bright minds with potential for a better life, and many learned to see their mistakes not as reasons for blame, but as learning tools to turn their lives around.

Cut away the nonsense, the drama, the regret, the scars of the past, and make a decision to no longer let them govern your happiness and freedom. ~Steve Maraboli

 

Related image

Awareness: Sometimes we’re not aware of what’s churning in our subconscious robbing us of the freedom we need to grow on our journey. If you have a sense of something holding you back, look inside and see what’s in there. Any guilt and self-condemning thoughts? Any memories you’ve hidden somewhere so you don’t have to re-live them? Bring them up and begin your road to freedom.

Forgiveness: You’re not your mistakes. You’re not stupid or incompetent. So you don’t need to forgive yourself for being who you are. You need forgiveness for doubting yourself and allowing your mistakes to create a false image of you. Deal with your mistakes and feelings from your true self. Affirm your positive qualities often, acknowledge who you are, and claim your true identity–a beautiful person who goofs up sometimes.

Confrontation: There’s power in thoughts and more power in words. So when any self-condemning thoughts come up, talk to them directly, out loud when possible. Tell them you’ve had enough, and you’re letting them go … goodbye! Refuse to let them hang around.

Comfort: Comfort that inner child part of you who’s been suffering for too long. Give her/him lots of hugs with love and approval. And when you make your next mistake–and you will–do the same with that mistake and all the others that follow. You’re the caretaker, and your inner child needs you.

I can’t count the times I kicked myself in the rear end with regret, and it always took a while for those thoughts and beliefs to give up and go away. But each time it was a new step forward. And I wish those steps forward for you.

Let the past go and enjoy your freedom.

Marilyn Fowler, Author of Silent Echoes



Product Details  Product Details
( click to purchase now on Amazon )

Do You See Your Rainbow? It’s There.

Walk on a rainbow trail; walk on a trail of song, and all about you will be beauty. There is a way out of every dark mist, over a rainbow trail.  ~ Anonymous ~

I’m 10 years old on a school trip, mesmerized by a sight so beautiful my breath escapes me. Thousands of tulips. Michigan tulips. As far as I can see they stretch across a field before me, and fill my eyes with brilliant color beneath a soft blue sky above. Their colors form a rainbow in my mind. Yellow, red, purple, pink, orange, white, all swaying in the warm breeze while the springtime sun sparkles on their petals. I hold my chest and sway with them, overcome with awe at a sight I only dreamed of in my story books. For a while, this incredible sight replaces the loneliness I feel at home. It’s nobody’s fault at home. That’s just the way it is.
.
This beautiful panorama of color taught me something I’ve carried with me my whole life. No matter what pain we encounter on our journey, there is always a rainbow somewhere. There have been times when I looked around at my life and saw nothing but dregs of what might have been. Boulders that looked too big to overcome. Doors closed to me forever. Hills too steep to climb. But my mind held the picture of the tulips, and I found my tulip rainbow’s message of hope, guidance, and promise for my life. And I picked myself up and moved on.

Do you remember an experience in your life, perhaps in childhood, when you felt deep inside an awesome sense of being—that you mattered? It may have been an insignificant event to others, but for you it deeply touched your heart, and it’s still with you. Mine was my tulips. What was yours?

When life throws you a curve, and you think you can’t get up, you may not see a rainbow.  But the rainbow is always there. Maybe it’s just behind the clouds you see in your life, or between rain stops when they fall, or in birds talking to each other early in the morning, or in a child’s smile. You may have to get on a bus and take a field trip in your mind to find it. But it’s there.

We may run, walk, stumble, drive or fly, but let us never lose sight of the reason for the journey, or miss a chance to see a rainbow on the way.”
~ Gloria Gaither ~

 

We’re all on our journey through life, and sometimes that journey gets rough. But the rainbow tells us there’s hope. Re-experiencing your memory with feeling is what creates your rainbow of hope, or whatever a rainbow means to you. When you find some kind of pain in your life, bring up your memory and picture a rainbow in your mind. And claim that rainbow as yours for the hope, and peace you want. If you don’t have such a memory, imagination is a gift we receive when we’re born, and you can create anything you want with this gift. Work the process, and know your rainbow is already there. You just have to claim it.
.

“Be thou the rainbow to the storms of life, the evening beam that smiles the clouds away, and tints tomorrow with prophetic ray.”
~ Byron, The Bride of Abydos ~

.
Life has a way of putting the difficult stuff right in our face, while the good stuff remains illusive. Maybe that’s what teaches us how to be more alert and careful where we apply our attention. Rainbows are all around you. You have to know that. You have to believe that. And open your eyes and your heart to look past the darkness and find them.

I wish you clear vision along your path .  .  .

Lifestyle Blogs
submit a blog

Author, Marilyn Fowler
http://www.amazon.com/Granmama-Hill-Country-Marilyn-Fowler/dp/B00QFUJPX2